I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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