that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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