I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
