I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
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Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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