I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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