porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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