Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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