i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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