do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
