I didn't shave. On purpose
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
