look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You ruined the universe
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
