I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
