they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
