I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
