I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
