this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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