I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
