So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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