Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Randomize
