Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
