Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
