I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
