No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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