youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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