so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
love makes seman taste better
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
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sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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