u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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