dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
