Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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