spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
