You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
