just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
