Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
