Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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