apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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