he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
