I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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