the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
