thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
