I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
