she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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