It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
