This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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