Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
