She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
