There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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