i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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