nut hugger
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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