I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
