were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
