Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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