youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
