You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
