I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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