There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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