I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
