so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
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I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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