It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
bring money and cleavage
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize