Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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