Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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