Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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