I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
