you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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